A Gentleman's Guide to Women, Relationships and Breasts
The Making

Below, old mugshots of extreme female criminals found on vintagemugshot.com. Notice both the protruding jaws and the vacant eyes. Boy, if looks could kill....

Ladies are not the only crazy ones! Below, old mugshots of extreme male criminals Notice both the protruding or receding jaws and the hollow eyes. In the film Zeitgeist; Moving Forward we learn that severe child abuse is the usual cause of aberrant, sociopathic and psychopathic behavior such as that exhibited by murderers, torturers, and politicians.

The qualities that go into our "perfect woman" have nothing to do (surprisingly) with bodies or breasts. In various articles, TSLG discusses different types of women—some that men ought to avoid like the plague, and others with whom we believe a more mutually satisfactory relationship may be achieved.

The Perfect Woman

by Leslie Cabarga for ToplessSummerLoveGirls.com

Eileen met Richard at a business conference and they immediately became an "item." Richard was a nice, unassuming guy who was delighted to have hooked-up with this woman. Eileen was very attractive, though her face was somewhat narrow and she habitually pursed her lips, jutting her jaw forward in an obstinate sneer resembling that of Margaret Hamilton as Miss Gulch (and later the witch) in The Wizard of Oz.

At one of the evening social events, Richard seemed to be enjoying himself on the dance floor, though Eileen appeared distracted and not much into dancing. When she pulled him off the floor, he reluctantly followed and for the rest of the conference he remained in tow. Presumably for Richard there was a sex pay-off and so he had nothing to complain about. But what struck me was the apparent single-mindedness of Eileen's pursuit and control of Richard, and her presumptuousness in calling the shots. It seemed to me that the only thing on her mind was "landing" a relationship (which man she chose may have been of secondary importance to her) and she couldn't even enjoy the party or dancing because it was not directly relevant to her self-centered agenda.

Looking forward a few years, we might predict that Richard finally has enough of this demanding woman who always seems to be angry because of something he did—or didn't­—do. By this time, there is a lot of nagging in the living room though not much moaning in the bedroom, and Richard is seriously considering pulling the plug. Unfortunately, together they now share an apartment, or maybe a house, and maybe they've even become married. . .with children! What a mess; a gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, accusations-flying, wages garnering, life-shattering mess.

But it didn't have to be this way. Although there's no sure way of absolutely avoiding bad relationships and ugly break-ups, one of the many things readers are learning from TSLG is that by screening out crazy women and instead seeking smarter, saner, more together and nicer women, men can save themselves a helluva lot of grief and possibly avoid years of misery! If only Richard had known the warning signs of a, shall we say, less-than-advantageous girlfriend his life might have turned out for the better.

Unfortunately, it's not very difficult for marriage-seeking Misses to bamboozle most men. All it takes is a little flattery and some perfunctory pussy. But after the relationship is established, we men get on with our work lives and start to neglect the niceties and attention we paid while dating, and women tend to withdraw the sexual goodies and shift their focus to baking pies and knitting booties in advance of things to come. (But we'd rather focus on women's treachery than men's.)

So how can men choose women who'll make them happy rather than suicidal? Basically, women seek humor, bravado and upbeat confidence in men, along with good provider potential or proven earning ability. Men tend to be concerned mostly with a woman's looks and the appearance of vivacity and sexiness. (As we write in TSLG, "remember guys, vivacity is only a few dozen cheeseburgers and a couple of rugrats away from obesity.") Underneath, however, an attractive woman may be insecure, needy, dependent, angry, unstable, demanding, and so forth. These are qualities that, like men's bad qualities, only show themselves later on in a relationship. When it's too late.

TSLG contains many quotes from men's authors on the subject of finding the "perfect woman" and throughout our research, we found the same recurring answers for men who are seeking women. For example, in the wonderful book, No More Mr. Nice Guy, here's what Robert A. Glover writes about "the perfect partner."

"Over time, the members of my No More Mr. Nice Guy groups have come up with a number of traits to consciously look for when creating new relationships: Passion, Integrity, Happiness, Intelligence, Sexual assertiveness, Financial responsibility, and Commitment to personal growth."

Taking Glover's points one by one, I will venture to explain in my own words the importance of the qualities listed.
A Passionate woman has her own life, loves, and career so she doesn't need to suck energy from you. And as we explain in TSLG, her passion for life will likely include a passion for . . . passion!
A woman with Integrity, will care about your point of view and not need to twist an argument to make herself the "winner." In divorce, a woman of integrity will not try to take money or possessions from you that she did not personally and directly work to acquire; she will not concoct from her desperation a cockamamie concept of co-ownership of what you bought. She will all along have paid her own way through her own enterprise (see Financially responsible women, below).
A Happy woman will not drag you down into her problems and she will inspire and help you maintain your own happy attitude.
An Intelligent woman will stimulate you with exciting conversation, she'll help you with creative problem-solving, and she will not let ignorant religious dogma or societal fears get in the way of her sexuality.
A Sexually Assertive woman will initiate sex without you having to go begging. She'll continue to match you "blow for blow" in bed and, especially if she also has the other qualities on this list, she will maintain her sexual interest long-term.
A woman who is Financially Responsible for herself will not be a drag upon you. When she wants a mink coat she'll buy it herself. Or gift-giving will be mutual. Most importantly, by being financially responsible she won't later resent you for "controlling" her.
If the woman you choose has a Commitment to Personal Growth, she will always be questioning herself, her beliefs, and her life. She will be amenable to change, both yours and hers, and when combined with the quality of integrity, she will not be a blamer but be open to the possibility that she may have contributed to any conflicts that arise.

In Why Men Are The Way They Are, the brilliant Warren Farrell provides his own description of self-sufficient women who he says are less needy for commitment and more capable of understanding a man's point of view: "The women who have men banging down their doors—even at the age of fifty—are likely to [be] less concerned with the goal of commitment than with how men feel hurt or feel powerless. . . .Women with little trouble with commitment . . . do not focus on the excess of anger [in an argument] as a way of sidestepping the issues that led to the anger. . . . In the work arena, these women like their work and have no plans of forfeiting it after a man commits. She enjoys sex for its own sake, not just commitment-related sex; she possesses a joie de vivre. In the process, the men in her life sense the potential for fulfillment of their primary need—intimacy—as well as a good sex life. And they bang down the door. And the one who gets admitted rarely feels tricked or trapped, but rather grateful."

Dr. Herb Goldberg, author of The Hazards of Being Male and many other best-selling books for men and women on relationships had this to say: [The following is taken from a longer interview with Dr. Goldberg that is published in TSLG]
"The ideal woman, first of all, would not be obsessed with intimacy or romance. She has an equal interest in the external world as with the internal world. So in terms of the world out there, her education and her career would be as important to her as her relationship. She cares about romance but is not obsessed with it. She doesn't expect to be courted, she doesn't expect to have her mind read by the man who's supposed to know what she wants so he can make her feel good and show her a good time. She's able to clearly define who she is and what she likes, what she doesn't like, and she can say so. She's able to negotiate conflict, she's not afraid to show anger. So she can be loving and nice but she can also be angry and set strong boundaries. She can be sexual and sensual. You can tell a healthy woman by one simple thing; by this one indicator: that she's not a blamer. And she's not a victim."

And in her book Booby Trapped; Men Beware the Dirty Seven Sisters, author June Marshall asks, "Does she have a life? If you believe in love at first sight, force yourself to step back and take the time to have several conversations with the object of your desire before plunging into the river of sexual ecstasy with her. See if she has a life or if she is waiting around for someone to lend her his life. If she does not have a life, she might be like the aliens in the film Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Many a man has confided to me that he has fallen in love with some glorious creature who feeds his fantasy of what he wants in a woman. He is willing to jump into a relationship quickly because he wants to have a good time . . .but the good times will come to a messy end when the fantasy dies and Cinderella turns into Vampira, feeding on his life so she can sustain her own."

June Marshall further advises, "Do not be quick to be flattered by an unknown lady's attentions, especially if she is coming on too strong, too fast. Take charge of your inner ape and use judgment of a rational man who has evolved out of the jungles of impulse and shortsightedness. Walk away from the quicksand before it engulfs you!"

You've now heard from the experts! But the question men keep asking is "Can I tell just by looking at a woman if she is a dangerous, predator female?" And after years of painstaking research TSLG has discovered the answer! Women with narrow faces (like Eileen, mentioned at the start of this article), uneven or slightly crossed eyes, or eyes too close together, and/or with protruding jaws you should avoid like the plague.
I have observed that killers—male and females both—often have very light-colored eyes whose gaze is somewhat indirect. Of course, I am making an exaggerated generalization because women who slay men's souls far outnumber those who commit actual homicide.

What I am saying, must not be assumed to pertain to all slender-faced people. So some slender-faced women with light-colored eyes that are too close together may be wonderful people. Not my one-time tenant Sarah, though, who skipped town with a trail of debts and deceit behind her. She even stiffed her poor Mexican nanny. To be sure, seemingly deceitful women may have genuine mental and emotional problems and may have lived through a tragic or abusive upbringing. But that's no reason to let their problems become your problem.

My theory might be said to be backed up by the work of Dr. Weston A. Price, DDS who noted, in his 1939 masterwork, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration that criminals and juvenile delinquents often showed evidence of skull and jaw malformation that may have contributed to "incomplete brain organization." Price's book contained photos of these criminal types with protruding and receding jaws. Weston Price also showed that the white diet of flour and sugar, so pervasive in modern cultures, has resulted in narrow dental arches and crowding of teeth for a majority of us.

I stumbled upon evidence similar to Price's in a web search of criminal mug shots, especially female criminals. Admittedly I selected for my bias, but truthfully there seemed a majority of malformed faces and jaws among the mugshots of hardened criminals.

Men and women select each other as partners based on a complex variety of criteria. They say that we select partners intuitively: the masochist walks into a party and immediately zeroes in on the sadist in the far corner of the room. The underlying "essence" that we unwittingly project to others, as explained on page 109 of TSLG, is another come-on . . . or turn-off! As is reincarnation. You may have killed her in a past life and now the two of you come together in this life so she can pay you back for it. Or maybe she just needs an expense account so she marries one. So to some extent even a carefully planned process of mate selection can become derailed by our shit, past and present.

It is certainly true that when a man and woman meet, each is intent upon showing their best sides and conning the other into thinking that they are decent human beings worth getting into bed with. But as the fallout from disastrous relationships is so traumatic, it behooves men to be careful, be choosey and learn all they can about women (and their breasts!) by reading Topless Summer Love Girls!

Below: An additional method of identifying potentially bad mates!

Name that Prune

Never marry a woman named Barbara, or one whose name has the "ar" sound in it, such as Margaret, Marge, or Marsha. Think of Mars, the god of war; and in the case of Barbara, think of barb, barbarous, barbaric. If you marry a woman whose name contains a letter r, and especially the soft-a "ar" sound (as in "Aaaargh!"), your life will become miserable and you will soon discover that she is as prickly as a thorn, as defensive as a corporate spokesperson, and as intransigent as a religious zealot.

Barbie is just Barbara in stealth mode. The ie suffix is an attempt to hide and soften the fury contained in Barb but it only adds a whine that in time becomes a shriek. The very word, "Marriage," although its etymology is technically different (or so they claim!), contains mar, meaning to disfigure, deface, or scar. Mar derives from such olden days words as merran, or marren, meaning variously, "to waste, spoil, hinder, obstruct, or impede."

On the other hand, the y in the name Mary, and the "a" sound (as in fairy, does not produce so brutal an effect in the female. The name Maria also does not qualify for this "ar" caution because the syllable break is Ma-ria. In fact, Maria may be the perfect female name as it suggests strength and determination, while the ria reveals a willingness to listen and compromise. The name Maya (absent an r) produces a similar effect, yet one that adds creativity and spirituality, which could mean that Maya would be a great fuck, since she is confident, aggressive, creative, free-spirited, while at the same time able to be soft and yielding (when she is not moody, contemplative and brooding).

As to men's names, women should avoid marrying men named Muggsy, Butch, Spike, Lefty, Nails, Scarface, Legs, Knuckles, Attila, Adolf, Idi, Saddam, Osama, and George. But remember, names, like astrological signs, carry both positive and negative potential, which in the more highly-evolved female can occasionally mitigate even the double-bar in (shudder) "Barbara."