Warren Farrell

Selections from his Books

We will be adding more quotes later from this remarkable writer of books about men. In TSLG we have quoted Farrell profusely because of the way he offers new insights on feminist ideas as well as turning the tables on old, accepted cultural paradigms. All of Farrell's brilliant books are must-reads for men! You can find his work here.

From Farrell's Why Men Are The Way They Are

"When women's consciousness was raised, women ended up seeing housework as their "shit work"; when men's consciousness is raised, sexual initiatives will be seen as the male 'shit work.'"

"Boys' primary fantasy—the exchange of physical intimacies—is free for both sexes. The female primary fantasy requires male payments—dinner out, an engagement ring, 'better homes and gardens.'"

"A boy is actually in a worse position than being willing to give his body away for free—every other boy is trying to give his away before he does. He has to earn the "privilege" to be the one to give it away.
It's actually even worse than that. He's so anxious to give it away, no one even thinks of it as a gift! He has to add something to it to make it palatable. He has to compensate by working for her body. How? He has to initiate everything that has anything to do with her body."

"Not many a man ever expects an attractive and successful woman to whom he feels intellectually and emotionally connected to ask him out the first time, pay for him, and keep making advances until he responds. Many women expect these conditions, which are beyond the limits of men's fantasy lives."

"The male's feelings of powerlessness before a genetic celebrity—the feeling of having to beg like a puppy for every morsel of her attention and sexuality by performing, paying, risking rejection, and being told he's dirty or akin to a rapist—make his ego fragile and his self-concept vulnerable. Vulnerability creates defenses.
How does he defend against this vulnerability? In the sexual arena he discovers . . . it hurts a lot less to be rejected by a sex object than it does to be rejected by a full human being. So if a male can turn women into objects and sex into a game (and call it 'scoring'), he will be able to treat rejection less seriously."

"A single woman who supports herself is called a career woman, while a single man who supports himself is called a playboy. He may pay for her play as well as his own—but he hasn't 'grown up' until he pays for her life. Ironically, a woman who commits and becomes financially dependent is considered more mature than a man who does not commit but is financially independent."

"With the accusation 'men have the power,' women enforce the belief that external reward power is all there is to power. The more they see the limits of external reward power, the more they will stop saying 'men have the power.'"